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Greek God High: Chapter 4
"Welcome to detention, Hermes. It's lovely here isn't it?" Tartarus said sickly. "I hate this pit of a room. It smells like your pits." Hermes was chained against the wall in room 15, the detention room. It was also Tartarus' classroom, a room with no floor, instead an endless pit. During teaching, he set up a crude wooden floorboard that would sometimes break, forcing kids to fall into the abyss. "Yeah, I could spend years in here. It's awesome." Hermes grunted sarcastically. "Oh yeah, what about now?" Mr. Tart said, pressing the play button on a laptop. Suddenly Justin Bieber's "Baby" played throughout the room. Mr. Tart laughed hysterically as Hermes screamed. Suddenly the door opened, and Dionysus was thrown inside. As he fell in, he gasped, saying, "it was WAY ro bright out there. It's a lot better in this dark cave, especially when you have a MASSIVE hangover." He was immediately locked to a wall, and Tartarus asked, "What did you do this time, Dio? I'm assuming it has something to do with your high alcohol levels." "I er... stole Gaia's stash of Vodka. I then shared it with all my satyr friends, and we were tipsy for the rest of the day. I had some awesome hallucinations. Did I really jack Coach Eros' car with the head cheerleaders?" "Hell yeah Dio! I was there remember? I hotwired the car! We drove all the way to the Part Pony's Club and––" "SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU! YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE KE$HA MUSIC!" Ke$ha's "Take It Off" started to play, and Hermes moaned. Dionysus, on the other hand, smiled happily. "This reminds me off all those taverns I've been to..." Suddenly he threw up, and got vomit all over Mr. Tart's shoes. "Tartar sauce!" He screamed. "For this, I am making your stay here much worse!" Rebecca Black's "Friday" played, and both students screamed in agony. "I can help..." whispered Dio, "I'm the god of insanity..." He held a vial of some liquid and tossed it to Hermes. "It's a wine that knocks you out, blocking out all noise, keeping you sane." "You're a good man, Dio." Hermes said, drinking the vial. His head went slack, and Dio swallowed his own too. "I WAS SUPPOSED TO TORTURE THEM THOUGH! NOOOOOO!!!" Meanwhile... (While you read this section, please play THIS SONG another tab or window, as it was the inspiration for this half of the chapter.) Hades, Heffy (Hephaestus), and Apollo walked into Eros' room after school for his "How to hit on Girls" class. Inside, Eros stood at the front with a whiteboard. "Welcome class! I'm guessing you are all losers who have never had a girlfriend! I'm gonna teach you guys how to pick up girls!" "Oh please!" Apollo said, "I've had tons of girlfriends! I'm just here to say what I think when you're done!" Heffy shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Okay... Well first, we have the golden rule! Act like a douche bag!" He grinned. "Does that really work?" Hades asked. "Yes! And here is how you are supposed to look!" Eros said. Ten minutes later. Hades was a true white boy with no shirt on. Heffy also had many scars along his body, while Apollo had a perfect tan. Everyone rolled their eyes when he walked by them. They all also had hats tilted 43º, and for the few who had shirts on, they had them buttoned to the bottom. "You're ready! Now list the rules!" Eros said. "Never give her your jacket, never pull out a chair for her, don't let her sit in the front (only the trunk), and NEVER act like you care about what she says." "Are you SURE this works?" Heffy said. "FOR THE LOVE OF HADES OF COURSE IT WORKS!" "No one loves Hades..." Hades said to himself. Apollo went up to him and said, "So, who's the lady you have your eye on, eh?" Hephaestus and Hades whispered their crushes to Apollo. "Oh. You know what that means, right Eros?" "SINGING TIME!! SHOW YOU KNOW YOUR STUFF TO THE WHOLE CLASS!!" (Now, play the song) Apollo: Nice guys finish last, That's why I'll treat you like trash, It's not what I really wanna do. But, you only date bad guys so, I'll give it my best try to, Treat you the way you want me to. Hephaestus: (raps) I never open a door, or pull out a chair. You can tell me how your day was but I don't really care. And if you ever get cold, you'll just have to hack it, Cause I'd be cold too If I gave you my jacket. Like WHOA, you ain't sittin up front, Front is for the homes you can sit in the trunk. I never answer my phone, Whenever you call it And when the waiter brings the bill I never reach for my wallet. Apollo: Nice guys finish last, That's why I'll treat you like trash, It's not what I really wanna do. But, you only date bad guys so, I'll give it my best try to, Treat you the way you want me to. Hades: And Ima BEAT you! At every competition. Going out with the girls You better get my permission. Wait no, i take that back, you can't go, House is on tonight And that's my favorite show! Persephone: Do I look fat in this dress? Hades: Hell yeah you do! Wait lemme speak your language Cows go Moo! Mooo Moooo Mooo MOOOO! Hades: But behind the scenes she means the world to me. Hephaestus: Wanna tell her that she's beautiful, and show her that she's loved. Hades: Hold her hand when she's scared, tell her how much I care... Hephaestus: But that won't win her heart BECAUSE.... Apollo: Nice guys finish last, (finish last) That's why I'll treat you like trash, (like trash) It's not what I really wanna do. But, you only date bad guys so, (bad guys) I'll give it my best try to, (try to) Treat you the way you want me to. Everyone clapped at the end. Eros was yelling, "YEAH! THATS WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT!! So, Hephaestus, Hades, who's the lucky girl?" "Persephone." "Athena." "You guys have good tastes. (And while im at it, ill probably post it on my Facebook)" 'End of detention next chapter! 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